Tantrums 101

So, your child has started having temper tantrums. Not just any stomping of feet but full body on the floor, kicking and flailing with screaming thrown in tantrums. What now?  As a preschool teacher who has faced more than a few of these I can offer a few insights, however if your child’s tantrums are excessive and you feel you need professional help (trust your instincts) call your pediatrician.                                             

• Remember tantrums are a normal part of a child’s development. As adults we can help them learn to deal with the strong emotions they are experiencing.     

• Remain calm. Take a deep breath.

  
  

• Corporal punishment is not an option.                          

• Tantrums are usually a sign of frustration, anger or fear and are easily exacerbated by being tired, hungry, or not feeling well.   

• Name those emotions. The more language a child has the easier it becomes for them to communicate their feelings, which can be a big help in preventing tantrums.

• Try talking to your child in a soft calm voice, acknowledge their feelings, reassure them that everything will be okay.  

• Find or create a quiet/ safe place for your child to go when they are overwhelmed. A few pillows and a favorite stuffed toy can be helpful.  I have had children as young as one learn that when things are getting overwhelming, they can go to the safe place we provide in the class         

• Distract or redirect them. I have sung songs and told stories as if the tantrum wasn’t happening while rubbing the child’s back.

•  It’s okay to hug them if that’s what they need to calm down or when they are done.                                                                                                                  

• Rewarding the behavior can intensify future tantrums.